The most exciting playoffs ever© have begun better than expected. And that is amazing considering the high expectations everyone had.

In the opener Lebron dragged the corpses of Ben Wallace (0 points, 6 reb in 23 min), Wally Szczerbiak (2-10 FG), Delonte West (3-10 FG) and Varejao (1-6 FG) to victory. He got a little help from Z with 22p and 11 reb and West who didn’t let his horrid shooting stop him from contributing in other areas and finished with 5 reb, 5 ast, 2 stl and 2 blk.

The Wizards got a monster game from Antawn Jamison, who is in full contract year mode. He put up 23 p and 19 reb. Tough Juice had a quiet game, Arenas had 24 p on 50% shooting and Haywood contributed 15 p and 10 reb. But what everyone’s been waiting for was too see if DumbShawn Stevenson will walk the walk after talking the talk. Well, he walked all right. Walked on all fours, begging for mercy, after the Cavs made him their bitch. He finished with 3p on 1-9 shooting and managed to “hold” Lebron to only 32 points on a mere 12-19 (63%) FG. Good job, DeShawn. Your teammates and coach must be really proud of you now that you made Lebron mad.

This was followed by the Suns - Spurs series. And let me tell you: the Suns must have done something really really bad in some previous life, cause their karma is a bitch. First, Finley hits a 3 pointer to send the game into the 1st OT. Then, at the end of the 1st OT, Tim Duncan, of all people, hits a 3 pointer (his 1st of the season) to send the game into the 2nd OT. With Amare fouled out at the end of the 1st OT though, the Suns didn’t have too much of a chance and got beat on a last second shot by Ginobili.

The game had everything you could possibly want: went down to the wire (double OT is as good as it gets), intensity, emotion (I got to see Timmy3000 pumping his fist while screaming after making a shot as well as hear him laughing during a court-side interview), big shots, amazing shots, incredible shots, Shaq playing defense with passion, moving his feet and diving for the steal, huge blocks, heroic performances (did I mention Duncan had 40 points and 15 boards ?) and a couple of misses that really hurt (why Boris, why did you miss that layup ?).

Unfortunatelly it also had something that you don’t want in a basketball game: the refs have rewarded every single damn flop, which went in the favor of the Spurs since everyone on their roster except for Duncan is a grade A flopper. Kurt Thomas seemed especially bent on punishing the Suns for sending him in Seattle and he did it by throwing himself at the ground at the slightest contact. At one point it got so bad Mark Jackson called him “Denzel Thomas”. But otherwise it was a classic. The perfect start to the series and to the playoffs.

Washington @ Cleveland

The only series in the East that features some bad blood between the 2 teams. With Arenas coming back from injury the Wizards sure feel confident, but Lebron will be on a mission. Add to that the fact that DeShawn Stevenson pissed him off with his comments, so he might just average 45 points and 15 rebounds by himself against the Wizards.

The Cavs, on the other hand, have nothing but Lebron. And that might not be enough. The more I look at that team and Danny Ferry’s track record, the more it seems Lebron will end-up requesting a trade or just signing with someone else when he becomes an UFA in 2010. And who can blame him ? He’s been carrying his team more than anyother superstar in the league. Kobe might complain about Kwame and Smush, but he had Phil Jackson and Odom. Lebron has Mike “what is that an offense ?” Brown and Ben “I used to be good, you know” Wallace.

Back to the WIzards-Cavs series, it may be the best and most memorable of Lebron’s career, but everything looks like it will end up bad for the Cavs. If I’m a GM in the NBA, I’m putting money aside for some tampering fines, cause I’d make absolutely sure that Lebron KNOWS that if he asks for a trade, I am willing to do anything to bring him in AND surround him with players and coaches that will help him win not one, but multiple titles. I am looking at you, John Paxson.

Oh, almost forgot about it: Wizards in 7.

Toronto @ Orlando

The backcourt has been Orlando’s major problem this season. And TJ Ford and Calderon could combine to give the Magic fits. But Dwight Howard will be too much for the Raptors to handle, even if Bosh is a difficult matchup for him. Superman has to prove he has made the leap to superstar by leading his team out of the 1st round. Magic in 6.

Philadelphia @ Detroit

Flip Saunders actually developed his bench this season. But he’ll still suck in the playoffs. And his players remain a bunch of whining bitches with a sense of entitlement, who’ll just choke in the playoffs. Too bad for the 76ers that they won’t choke in the 1st round. Well, at least Iguodala and Thaddeus Young will have the opportunity to see what the playoffs are all about and get some experience, which is what matters for them at this point. Detroit in 5.

Atlanta @ Boston

Hawks: please be gentle; PLEEEAAASE !!
Celtics: just be quiet; this won’t take long, anyway;
Celtics in 4.

Utah @ Houston

Utah may be the 4th seed because of NBA rules, yet the Rockets have HCA cause they have one more win over the course of the season. But that’s pretty much the only thing going the Rockets’s way. With Yao Ming out everything rests on McGrady’s shoulders, and that can’t be a good thing with his bad back and all. Especially since they are facing a team who, unlike last year, is now playoff tested, having reached the Conference Finals in 2007. Jerry Sloan has them playing tough, physical, playoff-like basketball all year long, so they will come ready to bully the Rockets.

Utah won 14 of their last 20, with 9 of their 14 wins against playoff teams, of which only the Wizards and Raptors were below .600. The Rockets won 8 of their last 12, but the wins came mainly against cupcakes. The only playoff team they beat during that stretch was the Suns. Looks like the Rockets peaked mid-season, during their improbable 22 wins run, so at least they’ll have that to remember, cause the playoffs will be something to forget.

If the Jazz had HCA, they could have closed the series in game 5 at home, but considering their recent troubles on the road, I say Jazz in 6.

Phoenix @ San Antonio

a.k.a. The Big Decline vs The Big Fundamental. This might make or break Steve Kerr’s reputation as a GM. He acquired Shaq with one thought in mind: get over the Spurs. Since the trade, Shaq has been playing much better as evidenced by him grabbing 3 more rebounds per game while increasing his FG% and FT% and committing less fouls. Since rebounding is a good indicator of effort, this just proves what everybody knew: Shaq is a lazy piece of shit and he just didn’t care anymore in Miami. Once he got traded (and he got criticized in the media), he felt like he had something to prove again. So he’s trying again. For now he’s keeping his pie-hole shut about the number of touches he gets and just works on rebounding and moves his feet on defense.

As a team, the Suns could have used a couple more months playing together to further develop their on court chemistry, but they did a pretty good job in the short time they had. They finished 15-5, but the only really good teams they beat were the Rockets and Spurs (twice). But since they’re playing the Spurs, they’ll take that, thank you very much.

In previous playoff series, the problem for the Suns was that they had to double Timmy, which left open 3p shooters, and the Spurs have a bunch of those. Tony Parker gave them fits as well, since they had no one really able to stay in front of him. From this point of view Marion’s departure doesn’t hurt them much. He was usually quiet against the Spurs and although he was a very good defender, Parker was too quick for him.

Shaq, on the other hand, allows them not to double Duncan and gives them an offensive option in the half court. With Amare becoming a monster since moving at PF, the Suns seem to match better with the Spurs this time around. Throw in the fact that the Spurs are starting to show their age and this may be the year when the humans finally defeat the machines. Suns in 6.

Dallas @ New Orleans

The Hornets seemed to be losing steam towards the end of their amazing season, while the Mavs looked better with each passing game as they got more comfortable with Kidd running the show. Just like the Suns, the Mavs could have used more time to develop chemistry, but they did manage to send a message to the Hornets in the last game of the season.

The Mavs have a lot of experience in the post-season, even if some of those experiences weren’t too enjoyable. On the other hand, this is the first post-season for Chris Paul and there aren’t many players on their roster who seem likely playoff heroes. The Hornets will have to go through some growing pains and become playoff-tested before they can be considered real contenders. But before that, they’ll have to learn their lesson the hard way, being beaten by the lesser (record wise) but more experienced team. Just like the Raptors did last year to the Kidd led Nets. Mavs in 7.

Denver @ Los Angeles

This is gonna be a bloodbath. I don’t like Kobe as a person, but I can appreciate what he brings as a player. And he knows what it takes to win in the playoffs. He knows how important it is to have a few more days to rest. He’ll go for the kill and won’t give the Nuggets a chance. Phil Jackson will have the Lakers prepared, they’ll turn on the defense, you’ll see a couple of 6-22 games from Iverson, maybe a scuffle between Turiaf and Knee-Mart, and it will be over before you know it (or before Melo sobers up - whichever comes first). Lakers in 4.

In what figures to be the most interesting playoffs EVER in the Western Conference, not only was the playoffs race extremely tight, with the first 6 teams separated by only 3 wins, but we pretty much got the best possible match-ups:

• the Rockets get a chance at vengeance over the Jazz who eliminated them last year, but things don’t look too good with Yao Ming out. I don’t think this is the season when McGrady sniffs the 2nd round. I will write a more detailed preview for all the series later but on first sight I’d go with the Jazz in 6
• in another re-match/rivalry series the Suns get to see if acquiring Shaq was the right move - they got him so they can get over the Spurs, and what better team to test him against than the Spurs themselves. If there ever was a time for Shaq to be motivated, this is it. This is the series for which they traded for his fat ass. It’s more wishful thinking than actual cold logical thinking, but I’d go with the Suns in 6 (unless they’re Donaghy’ed again)
• the playoff virgins get the playoff chokers (that’s Hornets vs Mavs if it wasn’t clear). The Mavs get to test their new balls - the ones they acquired in February and came attached to Jason Kidd. This will be a new thing to them, having some balls in the playoffs. Sorry CP3, but not only does it look like you’re losing the MVP award to Kobe, but seems like you’ll also lose in the 1st round to the Mavs in 7
• last but not least, the pretty much unanimous pick to reach the Finals from the West (Lakers) against perhaps the most heterogeneous group in the league (Nuggets). Phil Jackson will have the Lakers look like the German panzers fighting a bunch of street bullies. The Nuggets might land a spectacular punch or 2, but they’ll get crushed. Kobe will go for the windpipe. Lakers in 4. Or 5.

Overall, given the teams that are going to the playoffs, I don’t think we could have asked for better match-ups. Especially from the brewing or already established rivalries point of view. In the 2nd round, if everything goes according to plan, we’d have Suns - Mavs and Lakers - Jazz which would feature a lot of interesting angles: Nash as a former Mav, Kidd as a former Sun and former Jazz hero Derek Fisher jumping ship and returning as the enemy. And if the Western Conference Finals feature Lakers vs Suns, these should be the most emotionally charged playoffs ever. There was no love lost between those two teams before, but now, with Shaq on board, the hate should go through the roof.

Throw a Lakers - Celtics finals on top of all this and you are basically witnessing a David Stern wet dream. And if this happens, you better enjoy it, cause I doubt it can get better than that.