Well, it was bound to happen. I expected it to be a little classy, but  I guess that’s all you can expect from a big baby. I’m talking of course about Shaq’s latest diss on Kobe:

Can we just call him The Big Grudge ?

Knowing how big Shaq’s ego is, him gloating over Kobe losing the Finals was totally expected. And I could understand a jab or 2, like a “Kobe couldn’t do it without me” thrown here and there. But an entire song dedicated to dissing Kobe ? Shaq acts like a dumped ex-girlfriend who just won’t get over it. Even worse, he basically admits that the reports of him paying women to keep them quiet were right, since he still has beef with Kobe for ratting on him.

He needs to stop acting as if he’s the one who just won a title. Especially since the Lakers still have a very good team and might just win a couple of titles in the next few years, which would make him look like an idiot. Not that it would be the first time he’s left looking like an idiot:

Today the NBA looks better than it ever did in the post-Jordan era. The talent level is great and looks to get even better. And unlike many of the stars of the previous generation (stars for which Vince Carter is a poster-child), these generation’s stars have the heart and leadership abilities of a champion and they are proving it already. Dwyane Wade led the Heat to a title, Lebron James carried the carcases of his horrible teammates to the finals, Chris Paul took the Hornets from the lottery to the Western Conference Semifinals and was this close to taking them to the Western Conference Finals.

But there is one thing that taints the game: the flop. The never ending theatrics of some otherwise great players (Manu, I’m looking at you) make most fans sick, sometimes too sick to watch the game. And because the refs keep rewarding their acting skills by whistling offensive fouls on the opponents, players are doing it more and more. These days above the rim defense was replaced by laying on your back defense. There are few defenders left who go for the block. Most prefer to go for the flop, and it’s disgusting.

Fans have been asking the league to take measures and stop the insanity and David Stern seems to have finally gotten the message. According to ESPN, fines will be imposed on “clear cases of flopping”.

This will have the benefit of allowing those who are judging to use replays (which wouldn’t be possible during a game). On the down side, “clear cases of flopping” might mean that only a few of the flops will be punished. Furthermore, with the calls not coming during the games, it will take a little more time for the effects of the rule to be noticed. It would be better if refs would have to pay attention and do their job and whistle flops during games. I’d assign a personal foul on a flop, as it is basically trying to illegally stop the offensive player from scoring. Faced with the choice of a sure foul on a flop or a possible foul on a real defensive play, the players will either go for the ball or get the fuck out of the way. But at least this is a start.

I really don’t why suddenly everyone is surprised that the owners of the Sonics want to move the team to Oklahoma City. Is it so hard to put 2 and 2 together ? Was it so hard to see a few years ago what the goal of the (Oklahoma City based) new ownership group was ? Here are the facts:

• Hurricane Katrina forces the Hornets to play a bunch of games in Oklahoma City
• despite not actually being a local team, just a “rental”, the Hornets bring people to the arena
• David Stern makes it clear that the Hornets will return in New Orleans
• the Sonics are losing money and local authorities don’t want to finance a new arena for them
• people in Seattle overwhelmingly voted against public funding for a new arena for the Sonics

So we have a city that is able to support an NBA team, and a team who’s no longer supported by its current city and looks to be on its way out. The team is bought by a group of business man from the first city. What did you expect it would happen ? Anyone claiming he/she didn’t see this move coming is either retarded or full of shit.

If the NBA didn’t want the team to move, it wouldn’t have allowed it to be sold to Clay Bennett and his gang. But I think David Stern wanted to punish the city of Seattle and send a message to other cities that might think of playing hardball.

And if (former Sonics owner) Howard Schultz was concerned about the team living the city, he wouldn’t have sold it, or, at least, he would have sold it to a local group. Dude is a billionaire and could have afforded to wait a couple of seasons till the lease of Key Arena was over (2010), but my guess is he tried to have his cake and eat it at the same time: he probably hopes that by stirring controversy and playing innocent he can get his the team back AND force the local authorities to fund a new arena.

Once the dust settles, I expect the Grizzlies to be sold and moved to Las Vegas. And by having Darko, Kwame and Jason Collins on their roster, the Grizzlies may well be on their way to the dwindling attendances that would justify such a move.

The Pistons caught a HUGE break in game 2 when the shot-clock malfunctioned and the refs, unable to use existing technology in order to make the right call (thank you, David Stern), thought Billups got off the shot in time. This screwed the Magic pretty bad, most likely costing them a game.

The reason the refs could not check the clock is that under current rules officials are allowed to use replay only if a shot went in and the clock expires. But here are my questions:

1. since the clock stopped, the refs could have considered that it should have reached 0 and bent the rule a little bit in order to review the play. Wouldn’t a little bit of rule-bending be more desirable than costing a team a game in the playoffs ?
2. if the refs couldn’t use the replay, why not ask TNT’s courtside reporter ? You expect TNT to have already synchronized a stopwatch with the replay in their studios, so they should have the right answer. Just call Craig Sager or whoever it was and tell him to ask the studio how much time was left on the clock. The refs are supposed to make a call, but I doubt there’s anywhere in the rule book a rule saying “You’re not allowed to ask TNT’s studio”. If there’s technology that’s available, why not use it ?
3. if none of the above scenarios were deemed feasible by the refs, why not make the teams replay the sequence ? Give them 30 seconds or so to draw a play and just replay the whole thing. Let them win or lose the game on the court.

Celtics @ Hawks

• The Hawks finaly used their best weapon to their advantage: their athleticism constantly frustrated the Celtics, as the Hawks were the agressor in this one
• Josh Smith rarely touched the ground, hovering above the rim on defense and finishing with 7 blocks, most of them coming in spectacular fashion.
• After their little shouting match in game 3, Pierce and Horford both underperformed. Since I already talked about Pierce, I’ll discuss Horford a little bit. He finished with just 4 points on 1-6 FG and 4 TO. But his demeanor on the court was great, as were his 13 rebounds.
• After a dunk (his only basket of the game) that capped a 10 points Hawks run, Horford flexed Zo style. I already like the kid, so if he turns out to be the next Zo, I’ll like him a whole lot more.
• Zaza Pachulia got in Garnett’s grill after getting an elbow. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. I mean … is Zaza Pachulia even allowed to talk to Garnett ? But his actions personified the Hawks in this game: they were not afraid of anything. They acted like they belonged instead of rolling down in front of the mighty Celtics.
• After the altercation, Horford tried to calm Zaza down and took him towards the bench while waving his hands to encourage the public to rally behind his team. He might be just a rookie, but he’s showing some leadership skills and he’s not afraid of anyone.
• Garnett didn’t help the Celtics’ cause much, missing 12 of his 21 shots. This was the biggest knock on Garnett during his career - taking too many jump shots. And it hurt his team this time, as he only made 7 of the 17 jumpers he took. He also missed a couple of layups.
• The Celtics defense was MIA. It looked like the Celtics took a page from the Pistons’ manual and expected lesser opponents to just hang their heads and wait for their merciful finishing blow. But the Hawks, just like the 76ers, gave them a big FUCK YOU. Who’d have thought ?! Best teams in the league (record wise) are the only ones to be tied after 4 games, while playing the worst (record wise) teams in the playoffs. The Eastern Conference playoffs suddenly got a lot more interesting.

Deshawn Stevenson got himself in the spotlight with his “Lebron is overrated” comments, and in the process  prompted Barkley to call the Wizards “the dumbest team in the history of civilization”. Now that he got the spotlight firmly locked on his bearded mug, he gets to annoy everyone with his “I can’t feel my face” gesture, that in fact created a little stir, cause it’s so dumb people have a hard time understanding what it means.

So here it is from the horse’s mouse:

“I named it, but Tony Yayo does it. [I named it like this] Because you do it over your face. And I can’t feel it because I’m on fire.”

Oh, right. NOW it makes sense (insert giant eyes-rolling emoticon here). Despite his explanation, there are people who claim he stole it from WWE’s John Cena who had a similar move called “You can’t see me”.  Since I never saw that move, I suppose it really works. Or it could be because I am not following WWE. In any case, a move like that  which is called “You can’t see me” made this image pop into my brain (and now on your screen):

Not quite the brightest animal, apparently. But Deshawn’s claim that he did not borrow the move from an ostrich seems to be supported by Tony Yayo himself, who explains he invented this move while:

I had nothing better to do. I was in the house, and was playing around

Which, interestingly, is the same thing I say about masturbation: I invented it while I was in the house, with nothing to do, just playing around.

In the end, as a tribute to Cena’s “You can’t see me” move, I give you a classic clip about the value of not being seen:

Well, I know they won’t call it in the NBA. Not against Tim Duncan. Especially not in the last second of OT on a game tying shot. But still, wouldn’t it be nice if at least someone noticed it ? Yet I heard no mention of it.

And no, it’s not sour grapes. The Suns lost the game themselves somewhere between a 24 seconds shot clock violation, and offensive foul on Amare when he could just take a jumper from 6 feet, a missed layup by Diaw and so on. And the refs rewarding obvious flops (by either team) with offensive foul calls were much more annoying than this. But this still looked to me as a traveling violation that needed to be mentioned. Just watch the clip - at the 52 seconds mark you can see Duncan shuffling his feet before taking the shot. So now I mentioned it.

I know that many people like to pick on Chris Webber for anything from the timeout he called in the NCAA Finals game to the fact that he took money in college (and then lied about it to a Grand Jury) to not being able to push the Kings over the Lakers and into the Finals. But the man has just announced his retirement from professional basketball and it’s time to show him some love.

I, for one, have always liked him. And why not ? He’s been the center-piece of the team that brought back fun, high scoring basketball after the defense took over during the 90’s and got to a level where there wasn’t much difference between an NBA game or a rugby match. True, he did not lead his team to the promised land, but the Kings had to face a Shaq in his prime helped by a young Kobe and a pretty good cast of role players, including amongst others Robert “the Ring Magnet” Horry. Worth mentioning that the Lakers were coached by the best coach of all time. Some might say that the Kings had to face not just the Lakers, but the 3 zebras as well.

And while his decisions on or off the court might have not been the wisest, Webber remained a wonderfully talented player, and the most versatile PF I have ever seen. He was an excellent passer and had very good handles for a guy his size. Charles Barkley probably still remembers the behind the back dribble followed by a dunk that sent Chuck’s fat ass straight into a courtside camera. Webber was a good scorer and rebounder too, and averaged almost a 20-10 for his career. This is no small feat considering there are people in the Hall of Fame with similar averages.

It’s a damn pity he got injured while in his prime and had to go through the dreaded micro-fracture surgery at a time it was pretty much equivalent with early retirement (see Hardaway, Penny; Mashburn, Jamal; Houston, Allen). It took him about 2-3 years to recover from it and the recovery was not complete. He lost a lot of his mobility and speed, which were a big part of his game. The injury might or might not have robbed him of a title, but it sure robbed the fans of a few more years of watching a really entertaining player leading a high octane offense.

So for the highlights, for the great passes, for giving Kenny Smith something to tease Barkley with, for the creativity and the entertaining basketball played by the Kings, thanks, Chris.

Wait. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ? Chris Duhon, of all people, was selected to take part in the Shooting Stars competition during the All Star Weekend. Chris Duhon has THE WORST FG% of the entire Chicago Bulls roster. That roster (still*) includes Ben Wallace.

What’s next ? Steve Nash in the dunk contest ? Reggie Evans in the skills competition ? Erick Dampier and Adonal Foyle in the 3p shooting contest ? Having Chris Duhon in a shooting contest is an insult to scores of Bulls fans who cringe every time he takes a shot. No wonder Chicago’s team lost to San Antonio who had 2 centers on it. Centers, at least in theory, don’t have much range and should have no place winning a shooting contest against a guard. Well, I guess except if that guard is Chris Duhon.

This was the worst thing of the All Star Weekend. The best thing was that because of his Superman stunt, Dwight Howard may end up being nicknamed Superman. Which would piss off a certain fat guy with a well documented obsession for Superman. Shaq sure loves eating, just not humble pie. And this would be a big piece of humble pie shoved down his throat.

* well, not any more, but it did when I wrote that sentence

PS: Yeah, I know  this post is a little late, but it took me a while to get over the fact that Chris Fucking Duhon was named to a competition that involves shooting

In a cruel hilarious turn of events, irony one-upped former NBA player Latrell Sprewell. Last time he’s been heard of, he was rejecting a 3 year 21 million offer from the Timberwolves because “he got family to feed“. Now his home is up for foreclosure and his yacht was sold at auction to help pay off the $1.3 million he owes on the boat. In 1999 dude signed a $61.9 million, five-year contract with the Knicks. He was paid $14.6 million in the last year of that contract. How the hell he’s not able to pay a $1.3 million debt, is beyond me. I can only assume he had Scottie Pippen as a financial adviser.